Stella is 4 now and my love for her grows with each passing day. She is the light of my life, always reminding me of how all-encompassing love can be.
When she’s sick, how all my thoughts turn to her. How can I bring her comfort and relief? A piece of my hearts aches each time she gets hurt, both physically and emotionally. To tell her it will all be ok. To feed her soul as much as I nourish her body.
I feel as though I am lying sometimes. Life can be brutish and cruel. It isn’t always full of ease.
I have had a hard road of it at times. The path I am presently on is not easy and I find myself walking through some dark woods. Each day I try to find my bearings. I try to cut my way through the emotional and spiritual bullshit that has built up over a lifetime. These are woods i have helped create.
There is light shining through and it’s not all darkness and grief. I’m slowly eliminating the rot, clearing the undergrowth, and discovering that there is a way out. That way is ultimately lit by love. The love that I have for a child and the love she returns to me tenfold. The love I can rediscover for myself through forgiveness and integrity. The love I have for a woman, that runs deep, that grounds me. The love my Higher Power has always had.
Love conquers all? I’d like to believe that. I do know that love is the balm that heals all and it comes to us in many forms. I’ve been cut, scraped and bruised in my walk through life, but I will keep walking because the promise of life, the balm of love is ever-present.
Stella sleeps in the other room, surrounded by light and love. The healing has begun.