Father at Fifty

Well.  The day has finally arrived.  My half century around the sun is complete.  More so with Stella Lu in my life.

Her presence opens up chambers of my heart I never imagined I had.  A love so deep it aches.  Her smile wipes away the troubles of the day and all seems right with the world.

As I ponder the arc of my life, many events didn’t make sense at the time.  “Why is this happening?” was often muttered, or screamed, in frustration.  There were also many more times when life seemed grand, but nothing compares to now.  And the “now” is where I try to live thanks to Stella.  She has made me a better man; a better human.  One filled with hope for the future.

I arrived home after midnight last night.  I was exhausted from another busy night at work.  I entered our apartment softly, officially fifty years of age.  Lindsay had left a light on in the livingroom as she always does.  My girls were sound asleep.  The cat, who usually wakes upon my arrival, stayed curled up in a ball on the rocking chair.  As I walked through the house checking locks and closing windows, the weather was turning, a quietness filled me.  I washed up and took a peek at Stella, fast asleep in her crib, and stood there for a few moments, gently touching her.  Her room aglow in soft light.  My sweet child.

“What was life like before I met you?”

“Incomplete.”

Off to my room, I slipped into bed, cuddled up to Lindsay and kissed her goodnight.  As she slept deeply I whispered, “I love you.”  over and over, drifting off to sleep.  All was right with my world.

My one wish is to be able to stick around for another half century so I can spend that much more time with my two loves.  I’m filled with joy, so much so, that a huge grin is stretched across my face.  Lindsay and Stella do that to me a lot.

Happy Birthday, Daddy.