Next time I will remember

This hour of the day

when the world begins to hum

and the air is soft,

and silky,

and real,

this hour is tied to all

the previous days

of this hour in one

unending moment.

Now,

I am the child, innocent.

Now,

the young man dreaming.

Now,

the husband off to work.

Now,

the old man making coffee.

And with this hour anything

is possible.

It is the moment of bravery.

It is as if you awaken

and catch a glimpse of the

secret world,

but you are still

sleepy

and your senses drunk

with smells

and sounds

and light.

The mystery is revealed

but you are gladly caught

somewhere

between here and

there

and somehow you miss it.

Next time

you tell yourself,

next time

I will remember.

All things I seek …

I woke a few times during the night, briefly, allowing the pieces of my dreams to filter into consciousness, held them a moment, then slipped back into an easy slumber. Now. Before sun and Stella I sip coffee out of a cup given to me a few years back, with the words, “All things I seek are now seeking me,” painted on it. I drink from this cup often, more for practical than inspirational reasons. It’s a good solid cup that’s holds the perfect amount of coffee to start my day.

But this morning, at this moment in my life, it holds the perfect amount of wisdom. I read, and reread the words, holding the phrase in my mind, just as I hold the coffee I drink from it, briefly tasting its strength, before swallowing.

The words were written by author, Florence Scovel Shinn, an artist and illustrator who became a New Thought spiritual teacher in the early 20th century.

Shinn expressed her philosophy as:

“The invisible forces are ever working for man who is always ‘pulling the strings’ himself, though he does not know it. Owing to the vibratory power of words, whatever man voices, he begins to attract.” The Game of Life, Florence Scovel Shinn

I try not to overthink all this. When a phrase or an idea strikes, I tend to pick it up emotionally or psychologically rather than intellectually. How does it feel? Does it resonate deep down in my psyche?

Today it does. Something has been shifting inside. Body, mind, and soul are trying to realign themselves. It is what I want. What I seek. And in so seeking, my heart is opening and my connection to the energy around me is heightened. Because of this vulnerable state, everything I’m feeling, from delight to anxiety, is also heightened.

People and moments are affecting me in ways I have not anticipated. I had learned to build a wall around my emotions that very few were allowed to pass through the gates of. I can analyze the fuck out of the reasons why, but those reasons don’t matter. I’m here now, seeking and receiving. I’m willing to be vulnerable to the mystery unfolding before me. I’m willing to take chances and drink from the cup.

Here and Now

I can’t sleep. Awake at four in the morning with a thousand thoughts running through my brain.  The sunrise is on fire.    The cat has finally settled down from his middle of the night acrobatics and is nuzzling my arm. Today will be Stella -Daddy day with Lindsay working in the studio, probably late into the night.

The thousand thoughts, full of “shoulds” and “whens” and “what ifs” will try to take hold of my day, but being with Stella, the power of Here and Now will overtake the thoughts, if I let it, and my day will be preserved for an eternity.

So.  I drink my coffee and let the thoughts have their way.  She’ll be awake soon and I will be closer to serenity.image